fetlife etiquette, ohnoes
So, I’m a college girl.
Obviously, I am VERY VERY concerned with Facebook etiquette. I’m also fascinated from a communications major point of view, but I won’t get into that now.
I mean, on Facebook, I can add people for the most arbitrary reason!
I met you at a drunken party? Accept friend request.
I had a class with you? Accept.
I worked on a group project with you? Accept.
I kind of sort of only hung out with you once? And it was in high school? Who cares, accept.
BUT NOW!
Enter fetlife.
Now it’s SO MUCH MORE STRESSFUL.
I mean, can I add people that I’ve only met at tesfest? Is it weird to add other bloggers? Or people who just have pretty pictures and witty message board responses?
Then there’s the matter of my own profile. What do I put in About Me? Of course I’m going to say I’m in a relationship with Sir, but then He says on His profile that it’s complicated. Wait, what? Why does it say that! Oh no! Should I not put that I’m in a relationship?
It’s easy enough to put down that I’m owned and collared. No problem.
Then I need to have pictures, but they can’t show my face, and there’s a picture that I want to add, but I don’t have my collar on in it…
phew.
I want to go back to Facebook. Facebook is so much simpler.
Really, it is.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
It seems to me that, just as with life and play protocol, there are as many versions of FetLife protocol as there are people on the site (and that’s coming up toward a cool 40,000, so that’s quite a few!) so, my suggestion is that you develop your own protocol. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to send anyone you desire to friend a message saying “hi, I saw you at tesfest, I was the one wearing ____ and we talked about ____. Mind if I add you as a friend?” or “hi, I read your blog and would love to add you on a friend on here, do you mind?” or etc. Most people (that I’ve noticed) are totally down with that, plus they get a bit of an ego stroke from a personal message from you, and that you remembered them/cared enough to want to friend them/etc.
As for the profile stuff, that’s largely up to you. My Dominus and my profiles are slightly different on a few items, but that’s because we’re different people. that’s what I think, anyway. As for pictures, that would be something to ask your Sir (in my opinion), because what does it matter if other people notice that you don’t have your collar on in one of the pics?
That’s my two cents anyway, and feel free to disagree with me, of course! I’m in no way the be all and end all of FetLife protocol, but that’s what I’ve picked up over the months I’ve been around, or just how I think about things. There’s no way to make everyone happy, so you just need to do what feels right.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:50 am
We have tried to build a facebook/Myspace style website for those in the scene. We have a genuine and active member base and don’t falsely inflate our member figures. We are different to the site you mention and would love you to take a look and give us a try. We have tried to be up front and honest with all our members as its them that will decide the direction of BDSM-Life.com.
Warm regards
Iain