paradise by the dashboard light? not.
I hate fucking in cars.
There. I said it.
Maybe it’s the disappearance of those secret places where you can park a car in peace, or maybe with the advent of more compact cars, I just cannot get into any kind of messing around in a small car. If someone were to suggest car sex, I would look at them askance.
Vans are different. Vans have seats that go back, and are spacious enough that you’re not sitting on a gearshift while you’re blowing someone.
Sir and I, during the drive back from our first visit together to a BDSM club, stopped at a rest stop and crawled into the backseat. (“You’ve ruined the term ’service station’ for me, pet.” He says, now.) He drove a minivan. He pulled over spontaneously. THAT was fun, that was deliciously naughty; clothes unbuttoned and unbuckled, Sir taking His cock out of leather pants, leaning back, bare chested. He looked so delicious. Even now, I love when He’s shirtless but wearing leather pants. Fuck. Even shirtless and wearing the utilikilt is hot.
I wore eye glitter to the club, and His hands were in my hair, tugging at it. I was smearing glitter everywhere, there was even glitter in the zipper of his pants. We were sweaty and the windows were fogging up against the 2:30am cold outside. “I should fuck you right here,” He whispered, tugging my mouth down onto His cock, “I almost don’t care who sees us. Almost.” The rest stop was a little too populated for our tastes, even though it was so late. The feel of His exquisite, uncircumcised cock in my mouth, moving in and out, made me melt. That’s the kind of car sex I like. When it’s spontaneous, a secret shared between two people, and a search for immediate gratification.
All of these hybrid cars don’t make for hot making out in the backseat. Those cars are tiny! I’m all for gas conservation and hybrid cars, but I am a little sad that eventually, people won’t fuck in cars anymore. Suburban sprawl has killed Lover’s Lanes, and cops are more aggressive and on the prowl to bust kids for drinking or drugs.
This happened to my exboyfriend C and I. We were in his mom’s minivan, after the winter concert at school (I was in the orchestra, haha.) and it was nearly midnight. The lights were off, the engine was on, the seats were back, and we were going at it.
For once, I was completely into the act. Too often, I was often wheedled and begged into being fucked in that same van, and would just stare blank eyed at the sky as he had his way with me. It makes me sad, all the sex between the ages of 15 and 19 that I just sat through. But I guess that’s for another post.
But this night, this windy cold night, I kissed back just as hard as I could. I was wearing all black, a black blouse and a black skirt with pink underwear. My panties were off and my shirt was unbuttoned. We didn’t notice the lights. The two of us caught up in that world of teenage lust and hormones. We didn’t notice the cops until the flashlights were shining inside.
There was a problem. I was only sixteen. I was technically underaged, while C was not. C was visibly nervous, as was I, and he told me to say that he had only performed oral sex on me, no more. They tapped on the glass and then opened the door. I was still undressed. They were staring as I put myself together.
I didn’t have ID. I didn’t have anything that said how old I was. All I had was a stupid high school ID. That was a problem.
The police hauled me away from C, as they inspected his ID and questioned him to why we were out there so late.
“Are you here on your own free will, Miss?” The officer asked, quietly. I said yes, of course. C was terrified that he would be arrested.
Eventually, they let us go, telling us, “Just go home, guys. It’s too cold out here and we got calls from the nearby houses.” It was terrifying. We got out of there as quick as we could.
So I can count the positive experiences I’ve had with car sex on one hand. Since I live in the big city, I don’t drive much anymore. Sir’s van is full of trash. Cars are getting smaller and smaller. I don’t see myself having sex in a car any time soon. I don’t really miss it. Pfft.
