twenty-one is the magic number
I could go into all of the deep emotional stuff that I’ve been through for the past few months. But I won’t. Not yet, anyway.
This is a major milestone in the life of a college coed.
I turn 21 next week.
Yes, your coed will finally be able to legally drink. And now I can get into all of those mysterious BDSM/swinger parties that are 21 and over! I won’t have to worry about being carded because I will be LEGAL!
I turned 20 in Mark’s apartment. I celebrated 20 by chugging orange juice and rum in a dirty, sticky frat boy penthouse later that night.
A lot happened during my 20th year. I discovered my sexuality and re-discovered my voice. Not only my writing voice, but my own inner voice. I learned what real love is, I learned what real intimacy is, and what it is to be fearless and honest.
I learned about protocol and collars and plastic wrap bondage. I learned about TES and sex blogging and college BDSM groups. I learned about topping men. I experienced my first suspension bondage session, first session topping, first whipping, first punching scene, first long-term bondage, first session of orgasm torture and my first BDSM conferences. I signed BDSM contracts. I read lots of BDSM blog posts.
I laughed and cried and sobbed and screamed and yelled. I had freak-outs and break downs and experienced incredible joy. I forged the deepest, truest, most genuine connection I’ve ever had with someone that I probably would never have met had it not been the combination of BDSM and summer angst that led me to put up that craigslist ad in the first place.
I had the honor of being collared by the smartest, funniest, sexiest, most handsome and caring man that I’ve ever met. Ever. And even though he’s twice my age, and even though he can be a real meanie to me, I love Mark with everything I have. We’ve probably exchanged almost a thousand text messages over BlackBerry Messenger, hundreds of e-mails and lots of kisses.
And in between all of that, I went to lots of classes, drank lots of Starbucks, crammed for exams, played World of Warcraft, got drunk, fled to California three times and just generally lived a very fulfilling 20th year.
And even though things have been shitty lately, even though I have to go through the process of resurrecting this blog because I haven’t posted anything of note in so long, I’m pretty satisfied with how 20 went.
Mark and I have been going through some intense emotional stuff. But I can talk about that later.
For now, I’m just trying to savor my last couple days of being 20. People keep telling me, “It’s all downhill from here!” but I kind of doubt that.
Here’s the real problem; do I go out and do the college thing and get absolutely smashed on my birthday? Or do I go out and go to a BDSM party with Mark and hope he doesn’t give me my birthday spanking in public?
Choices.
Hmmmm. . .
